Ahh, l’amour. Whether you think it’s the greatest thing in the world or the most dangerous, there is no denying our quest for love in some form or another. It may be one of the defining characteristics of humanity. Who we love, how we ask for love, how we express it, how it breaks us, how it heals us. Every heart-felt moment of grace and pain that we experience because of its presence, or lack of, in our lives. And not to mention the wild things that we will do in the name of it! Wouldn’t it be nice to have a tool to help us navigate this heart-shaped battlefield? Well lucky for us, tarot is one of the very tools that can help us understand and embrace our relationships with ourselves and our partners.
Tarot & Love (Makin’ love & magic lol?)
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Love tarot… table for one, please
A love tarot reading can be used for the relationship with yourself, which is the best place to start when you’re seeking to embark on this journey of love.
Before you invite romantic love into your life, you’re going to want to have the right tools to make sure you’re going to ask for what you really want, and not just settle for who shows up. We even see this in the Lovers tarot card.
Though most would think that the Lovers card is speaking to some kind of romance (two naked people with an angel of love behind them gives off a certain vibe) it can actually often refer to our relationship with ourselves. This card highlights our choices, and it asks us to make sure that we are making choices from a place of love as opposed to fear or habit. Not only that, the Lovers card also asks us to honour all parts of ourselves. We cannot love ourselves in slices. Through self-acceptance and allowing our actions to be guided by love, tarot is already showing us how to welcome more love into our lives.
For more information about learning to read tarot, check out my previous article about this subject!
Love tarot: the mirror that shows us our light and shadow
Tarot is such a gem of a spiritual tool, as it not only reflects back to us what we are being guided to work on, it also reminds us that we are awesome and worthy of love. So many people worry that the cards will “say something bad.” Tarot is just mirroring back to you that which is hanging out in your subconscious. Everyone has light and shadow, this is just life. You’re not going to wait until you’re in some kind of pristine state of enlightenment perfection before dating someone. That’s impossible. And no one is going to be your utopia partner. But doesn’t that make life and love so much juicier and more worth living? We aren’t robots programmed for perfection! Tarot can help us do the work and also to enjoy this ride that is life by knowing, and celebrating, ourselves in all of our beautiful complexity.
How tarot can help you know and love yourself
First off, even being open to asking what you can work on is a step in the right direction. So many of us fear inner work because having flaws feels like failure. I say nay, because every human is beautifully flawed. We just have to shine light on these flaws so that they don’t run the show from our subconscious.
Performing a love tarot reading for ourselves, or having someone do one for us, is a great way to identify these blocks. Maybe you are an over-giver, doing everything for your partner in an attempt to make them love you. This energy is wildly draining and creates unhealthy expectations and resentment. You’re a PARTNER, not a maid. You may not even recognize this in yourself because you see so many other people you know doing it. This may be your normal!
Not only can tarot help you to identify this block, it can also help you to understand how to develop different relationship patterns that don’t drain your energy and self-esteem. This takes humility, as we aren’t always thrilled to admit that our behaviour did us no favours. Honestly though, after doing inner-work for a while, you may get to a point where you are thrilled that you are the problem. After over a decade of reading tarot, I am now deeply relieved when I learn that my behaviour or beliefs are acting as a major block. If I am cramping my style, then I can uncramp it!
Tarot and a self-love party
Here’s the part about tarot that we don’t normally talk about: the major boost in self- esteem that will be reflected back to you. It isn’t ONLY work and blocks that will be reflected through the magic mirror that is tarot!
Through a love tarot spread for yourself, you can identify your qualities that are awesome, loveable, and amazing.
Tarot reflects light and shadow. There is no shadow without the light. We can’t always rely on others to remember why we are awesome and inherently worthy of love. When you can remember your worth and celebrate it without relying on others, you know your self-relationship is truly thriving.
You can ask the tarot cards:
“what should I be proud of?” or
“how do I light up the lives of others?” or
“what makes me a wonderful person?”
You will likely be shown parts of yourself that you never even acknowledged, because you may have been too busy thinking about how to “fix” yourself. You could then take those self-love cards and keep them around to remind you that you rule.
Let’s say you ask, “what about me shines bright?” and you pull the Queen of Wands. This fiery queen shines their light not just for themselves, but for all those who cross their path. Through their authentic passion and creativity, everyone in their presence feels like they may have had a sip of champagne sunshine. Put that card somewhere you can see it! Print off a picture of it and put it in your wallet. Tape it to your bathroom mirror. Read about it and endeavour to light up the lives of others. Acknowledge what makes you awesome and then let tarot help you embody and embrace it. To learn more about how tarot can help you be your best self, read my article about Tarot and Manifesting your Highest Self.
Tarot and love… romantic styles
Just as a love tarot reading can help you love yourself, it can also help you in your romantic relationships. This is applicable to either new or potential partners, as well existing partners.
When it comes to new relationships, tarot can help you know how to navigate them in a way that is truly in your highest good. Look, we’ve all been there. We’ve met someone, we are super stoked, and it’s all we can think about. Then we don’t hear from them, or there’s a red flag, or we start to doubt this connection for whatever reason. Is it your intuition? Anxiety? Is that a red flag, or are you so conditioned to only see red flags that everything has a rouge tint? Welcome tarot into this party and get some answers.
The thing is, asking questions like, “does he love me” isn’t the best method, despite what popular opinion would have you think. I know it sounds odd, but that question isn’t as important as it seems. Does he love you? Sure. Will he step up and do the inner work that is necessary for a healthy partnership? If the answer is no, then love is not enough.
If you find yourself unsure about the feelings of your partner, check in with tarot to see if you’re truly seeing red flags or if you’re looking for reasons this won’t work because you’re conditioned to believe it will end. Just remember that your point of power is always with you. You can ask your cards what you can do to help your partner understand your needs, or if there’s anything you can do to help your partner feel safe expressing theirs. And if you’re not sure if you should continue, you can ask the cards. They may suggest that you be patient, or that you cut your losses and run. If it’s the latter, say thank you to the universe and then pack your bags. As they say, rejection can be protection.
Galentine’s Day party with tarot
If you’re looking for some galentine’s day ideas, busting out those tarot cards and doing love tarot readings for you and your friends is a lovely way to spend the day.
Wrapping up: The Love Cards of Tarot
You’ve got your self-love plans, your romantic tarot plans, and your galentine’s day tarot party all sorted out! I’ll leave you with a list of the best and worst cards to see in relationship readings and give you an idea of what they mean. Note: tarot is complex, and everyone’s situation is different. Remember to look at the light and shadow of each card in your situation before jumping to conclusions.
The best tarot love cards
Yes, it is about self-love, but it’s also about two sides aligning and coming together through choices made from a place of love and compassion. This would be a promising card to pull for a potential or existing relationship.
This is a card of the enlightenment and love that comes from being your most authentic self. It generally suggests love, authenticity, growth, and joy. And all while being true to yourself, which is the best.
Ace of Cups
A promising card to receive for new love, or for a new phase of love and openness in an existing relationship.
2 of Cups
I actually find that this card represents romantic love MORE than the Lovers tarot card in my readings. However, it can also refer to a soulmate or an extremely beneficial relationship. For example, this card comes up when my best friend and I are reading together, and she is absolutely my soulmate.
9 of Cups
This is called “the Wish card” in the tarot and is considered a sign that your wishes will come true. Heads up, sometimes we don’t wish for what we really want, but rather what we think we can settle for. When this pops up, do be mindful that you are wishing authentically and wisely. Like the saying goes, “careful what you wish for.” But in general, a very positive sign to receive.
10 of Cups
This could indicate that not only this relationship will be joyful, but that other relationships will thrive as well. Could indicate a potential family, or at least a close-knit group of people who love each other.
4 of Wands
This card is sometimes thought of as a marriage card in tarot readings. It’s the celebration of energies coming together and building stability and love. Ring a ding ding! Or at least some form of love, stability, and celebration.
9 of Pentacles
Though the image is of a single woman admiring her vineyard (so like, living the dream) this card is Venus in Virgo, and I have seen it pop up frequently for people who are about to enter joyful phases of their romantic relationships.
The not so hot tarot love cards
This card usually pops up when we are spending time with someone who we know isn’t good for us. You know, that babely person who is fun to look at but makes us feel like crap. A relationship that isn’t in our highest good, or at least has issues that need to be addressed (ie addiction, codependency, etc).
3 of Swords
The message here is one of betrayal and heartbreak. Sometimes, tarot descriptions sound majorly dramatic, so it could be past betrayal affecting the relationship. It is good to look deeper if this card pops up, especially if the relationship is new. You don’t need to sacrifice yourself for someone’s past who isn’t willing to work on it themselves.
7 of Swords
This is the card of the sneaky sneaks. It’s not always malicious, as it can sometimes just be referring to someone who doesn’t know what they want. But dating people like this sucks, because they can think they want the same thing as you one minute, and then change the next. Either way, tread carefully.
Though this is the card that symbolizes illusions coming crashing down and freeing us from situations that aren’t sustainable or authentic, it can still be chaotic and painful to go through. Something isn’t right here, implying the need to bring the tower crashing down. Best to have very honest conversations here to see if the tower is within you or within your relationship.
Tarot Love Gift Ideas
If you are looking for a special gift that embraces love and tarot and magic, here are some ideas for you!
This is all based off of my own experience as a tarot reader, and other tarot readers may have different opinions. That’s because, as tarot readers, we are all translators of feelings and images. This means that we will all interpret these images and feels differently and will have our own kind of dialect with the cards. Keep an open mind and remember that all worthwhile relationships take work. And if something doesn’t work out, it’s making space for something that does. Start with the relationship with yourself, and then all of the love magic will align for you from there. Let love rule, but let it rule within you first. Then, the sky is the love limit! Ain’t love grand?
The Mystic Mermaid
Jenny is a professional tarot reader with over twelve years of experience. She is also a tarot teacher, reiki practitioner, and avid knitter. In her time away from the cards, she enjoys reading a good book and cuddling with her guinea pigs. Find her on Instagram